What is Your Definition of Success?

 

I once heard Arianna Huffington say that it’s time to stop bragging about how many hours we work, and how exhausted we are. She believes it’s time to redefine success*, taking it beyond money and power, to include well-being, wisdom, and wonder. I couldn’t agree more with this definition of success.

Success to me is also working with fully engaged clients and giving back to my community, in the form of teaching and mentorship.

Finally, I feel successful when I live my life on purpose.

My purpose is to empower people to soar beyond their horizons. I have this written all over my office. Whether it is my mail carrier, the grocery store clerk I see regularly, or my young daughter, I strive to empower them to soar. If I am doing this in my family, my community, this country, and the world, I am achieving what I consider to be success.

In the video below, I share with you more of my definition of success.

(You can watch more clips of my interview with Cornell University on my YouTube channel)

Are you able to define your version of success? Can you name three distinct signs that indicate your success? I am so interested to hear.

*Read here to learn more about Arianna Huffington’s concept of the Third Metric, a redefinition of success .

 

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.

 

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An Excellent Business Plan Does Not Guarantee Success

 

Looking back, I am amazed at how many times I’ve jumped into a new business completely clueless. For me, this ended up being a good thing. Did I have an exit strategy? No way! Was I able to follow my business plan to a T? Definitely not. As I was learning, my business plan kept evolving.

I didn’t know it at the time, but the fact that my business plan was constantly evolving played a huge role in my successes. There were failures too, of course.

The fact is, in business and in life, you never know what is going to happen, especially in an economy that is constantly in flux. In that sense, treating your business plan as though it is set in stone is detrimental to your ability to succeed.

In the clip from my interview with Cornell University below, I talk about the four stages of learning and how they apply to entrepreneurs, as well as how a set business plan can actually cause your business to fail.

I’d really enjoy hearing stories about jumping in blindly to a new business or opportunity. Have a story to share?

 

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.

 

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Listen Up Leaders!

 

The success of a leader relies on the ability to unlock employee potential, find solutions, and meet organizational objectives.

Yet when individuals are always looking to you for answers, it’s easy to fall into the trap of providing an immediate solution to every challenge without first taking the time to listen and understand the full scope of the situation.

Here are some practical tips to improve and leverage listening skills that will enhance your leadership capabilities. If you’re interested in a more hand’s on approach, consider hiring an executive coach to help you effectively improve your leadership style fast.

It Pays to Slow Down

In today’s fast-paced digital era, you don’t have to scroll far on social media to find troves of industry leaders and managers competing to offer the “best” solutions to every problem they come across, all vying to prove that they are the smartest, the wisest, and the one with all the right answers.

But there is a much-overlooked response to every question that can help you. That response is simply to listen.

The top leadership consulting companies provide the necessary coaching and training programs to its managers and leaders. If you hold a leadership or managerial role, you may feel that you already spend a lot of time listening to others. You may even consider yourself to be a good listener. But how often do you find yourself lost in your note-taking, or considering your own response before your employees have finished speaking?

In fact, studies show that we’re able to remember much less information from listening than we think. Research carried out at the University of Minnesota shows that we only retain about 50% of what we’ve just been told. Listening is a skill that everyone needs to practice.

A Powerful Tool

Once mastered, listening can be one of the most powerful tools for anyone to possess. As a leader, you have a key opportunity to take the time needed to understand everyone in the workplace. When we are faced with challenges or situations that feel familiar, it is hard not to jump to conclusions. We like to think that we’ve been here before and we already know the answers.

But there is no one-size-fits-all solution to any problem. Only by fully listening can you ensure you’re asking the right questions and ultimately gain a better understanding of what’s going on.

Without fully understanding your subject, how can you begin to lead them to gain self-awareness, clarify goals and unlock their full potential? In short, sometimes the solution is not to provide an answer but to simply understand the problem.

The Value of Listening

The value of listening is often underestimated. Learning to truly listen is a skill that adds immeasurable value to your executive toolset.

Below are just a few things that can be achieved through the power of listening:

·         A deeper understanding of a problem or issue

·         Stronger relationships with your employees, peers, and clients

·         Showing others that you care

And that’s not all. By demonstrating your excellent listening skills, you can lead by example. By showing the power of listening in action, you can help others in your organization understand the value that listening can add to their own departments or roles. Show your employees the importance of creating a reflective space and let them experience the power of listening for themselves.

How can we improve our listening skills?

So how do you do it? The best way to improve listening skills is through active listening techniques. Making a conscious effort to use some of these techniques will help you engage with your employees and get the most out of every interaction. Some of these skills and techniques may sound obvious when considered on their own. Combined, however, they will produce powerful results.

Below are just a few active listening techniques you can employ straight away:

Make eye contact

Shut that laptop and other devices!

Simply making eye contact with the individual you’re speaking to can help you to listen more effectively. When you’re truly present, you can process the information that is being given to you much more easily.

Demonstrate concern

Actively show that you have empathy for your employees and others within your organization, and that you truly care about what they are saying. This will help to build a relationship of trust and encourage them to really open up to you about the underlying issues or concerns they may have.

Paraphrase what you hear

Paraphrasing key information to the individual you’re communicating with will demonstrate that you have listened and understood what they have told you. This will give the person you are communicating with the confidence that their leader cares and is paying attention.

Ask open-ended questions

Open-ended questions require more than a simple yes or no answer. They require the respondent to give more thought and consideration to their reply. An example of an open-ended question might be, ‘What’s holding you back from reaching your goals right now?’. This technique will help you uncover a deeper understanding of what is going on for your employee or peers.

Take it slow

A conversation isn’t a competition!

Make sure there is space within the conversation for your counterpart to express themselves without time pressure. You can dictate the pace. If you’re a quick thinker and the individual you’re communicating with takes time to think, then it is your responsibility to give them the room they need to breathe and think. Giving them this space will help to create a relaxed environment where you can both get the best results.

Power of pause

Everyone hates an awkward silence, but sometimes our desire to keep a conversation flowing can stop us from taking precious moments to reflect. Hold back from filling every pause with words and give the opposing communicator adequate time to stop and consider what they are saying. You’ll get a more honest and considered response this way.

Don’t interrupt

You might think you have the perfect solution to a problem yet resist the urge to jump right in there! Interrupting can send a variety of negative messages to your client and can stop them from opening up to you.

Ask!

Don’t assume you know what’s going on. Respond to questions with questions and make sure you really understand the situation. Drill down and find out what your employees or colleagues really think and feel. However, wait for the speaker to finish what they’re saying before you break their train of thought.

Don’t just listen to what they’re saying

Don’t just pay attention to what others are saying; listen to how they’re saying it. And listen to what they’re not saying as well. Sometimes a simple change in someone’s tone of voice can speak volumes about how they really feel. As a leader, it is your job to detect these changes and adjust and adapt accordingly. Situational awareness and emotional intelligence are key.

Reflect

Make time to reflect on the information you’ve been given by others. How can this information shape your actions as a leader? Give yourself moments throughout the day to step back and consider the things you’ve learned. Are there more questions you need to ask? Reflection is a huge part of turning the knowledge you’ve gained into positive action.

Closing Thoughts

While a growing number of leaders these days seem intent on sharing their own knowledge and offering solutions at rapid-fire pace, there is a lot to be gained from making space to absorb and process information. Listening is a fundamental skill for an effective leader, and one that will earn you more than just valuable information.

Listening to your employees and direct reports will help you to build the relationship of trust that you need in order to make a positive impact on their personal and professional development. By employing these listening techniques, you will be able to take your leadership to the next level benefiting yourself, others, and your business.

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.

 

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How to Level Up Your Leadership Skills in 2019

 

As we gear up for a new year, now is the time to strengthen your leadership skills for 2019 and ensure that you are effectively leading your organization toward achieving its goals. Here are three things you can do now to prepare for the future.

1. Hire an Executive Coach

An executive coach’s goal is to help you become the best version of yourself. Executive coaches become trusted thought partners and are just as invested in you reaching your goals as you are.

Many executive coaches serve as accountability partners for their clients by encouraging them to work toward their professional goals and holding them accountable for any actions that don’t help them move toward those goals. Additionally, an executive coach can help you unlock hidden talents and realize your potential, ensuring that you are aware of your capabilities as a leader and are consciously working toward developing those talents.

An executive coach serves as a non-biased resource to develop new ways to implement the information you’ve learned. Executive coaches can also help you build more productive relationships with your colleagues and staff and learn how to improve your interaction with people from different cultures and backgrounds.  In addition, an executive coach can also help you identify talent within and outside of your organization. As companies continue to make strides toward added diversity within their organizations, it is important that leaders are able to adapt to those changes.

One way to do adapt to those changes in a positive way is by enhancing your communication skills. Why? Because learning to listen to your colleagues and staff is just as important as the instructions you give them. Executive coaches can also help you strengthen your active listening skills and teach you ways to respond to challenging situations for the best possible outcome.

Anything you share with your coach is kept confidential; usually, executive coaching is conducted face to face, on the phone or via Skype and other video communication applications.

2. Take professional development classes

Professional development is a must for all business leaders. Business leaders who consistently seek ways to improve themselves can positively affect the internal climate of an organization.

Professional development classes can benefit you by helping you learn new methods of leadership and refine some of the traits you already have. Additionally, professional development can also serve as a way for you to teach others within your organization and field.

When it comes to professional development, you don’t always have to be the one taking the class. You can also be the person leading a class on leadership and other industry related trends that you’ve mastered as a professional.

3. Engage via social media

As we advance further into the digital age, more business leaders are stepping out from behind the scenes and making their presence known on social media. Taking some time to engage with your organization’s digital audience via social media helps establish you as an expert; it also adds a personal component to your organization’s online interactions.

Engaging with your organization’s customers and potential customers is a great way to add a human element to your company’s brand identity.  It helps you to appear personable and gives customers the idea that they know you and what you value.

Engaging with customers or clients can be as simple as commenting on trending topics on social media. Though these topics may not necessarily relate to your company’s brand, they may be important to your organization’s online audience. Personally delivering news to your organization’s online followers about new products, services, and or initiatives is another way for the public to put a face with the brand they love. Also, if you enjoy writing, publishing a blog on industry related topics and sharing those blog posts on social media is another way to connect with customers.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, being a leader requires continuous focus and intentionality, so be sure that you use all the tools at your disposal to become the best leader for your organization. Your reputation as a professional relies on your ability to relate to those around you and gain respect from your supervisors, peers, and direct reports.

Leadership consists of many different traits, but one of the most important characteristics is the ability to be led.  Gathering insight from your customers by engaging on social media, learning through professional development, and hiring an executive coach are all ways to be influenced and aid you in your efforts to become more effective.

As Q4 comes to a close, assess where you were last year at this time and ensure that you are continuing to work toward your year end-goals. Ask yourself questions such as:  Have I taken the necessary steps to be the leader I aimed to be this year?  Am I on target to meet my year end professional and organizational goals? What part of this year was challenging for me?  What changes am I planning to make in order for it to be less challenging in the future? Then,  take that information from your assessment and use it as a plan to close out Q4 on a positive note and bring in a strong 2019.

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.

 

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The W.I.N. B.I.G. Coaching Formula

 

Asking powerful questions is a necessity for a successful coaching conversation.  However, asking someone a bunch of random questions does not necessarily mean that you are coaching them.  A coaching conversation has three distinct components:

1.    Determining whether or not the situation requires coaching by using the Success Equation.

2.    Asking questions to create a dialogue that builds awareness about the issues at hand

3.    Empowering the coachee toward action that will create more effective behaviors

There is a simple process to Build Awareness and Move to Action, which you will find in Brian Emerson and my book, A Manager’s Guide to Coaching. We call it the W.I.N. B.I.G. model because when you help an employee become aware of what’s going on and take action, you WIN BIG and they WIN BIG.  

There are six steps in the W.I.N. B.I.G. model.  Three of them Build Awareness and three Move to Action.  They are:

Build Awareness

·         W-onder About Root Cause

·         I-nvestigate Wants

·         N-ame Possible Solutions

Move to Action

·         B-uild a Plan

·         I-nsure Action

·         G-ive Affirmation

Creating a dialogue that progresses through these six steps will help you increase your employees’ effectiveness, make you a better manager, and allow everyone involved to WIN BIG.

Today we will talk about how and why to build awareness while coaching; in our next blog, we will talk about moving employees to action.

Build Awareness – W.I.N.

W-onder About Root Cause

When there is a problem at hand, most people want to jump in and immediately move to action. It’s easy to see that sales are decreasing, for instance, and assume that the sales team must be the problem.  However, 99% of the time, what you see is just a symptom, not the real problem. Your job as a manager is to step back and wonder about the root cause of the problems that arise.  Why are sales decreasing?  What else is happening in the organization?  How effective is your customer service? 

It is often difficult to see the benefit of stepping back to build awareness about the situation.  Yet, in the first step of coaching, Wonder About Root Cause, your job is to ask questions that will help your employee be curious about what’s really going on under the surface. 

This stage can sometimes be a challenge for busy, problem-solving managers.  Notice the first word of this stage: Wonder.  It’s not Fix, Control, Stop or any other action-hero type of word.  Coaches don’t, shouldn’t, and can’t have all the answers; the person in front of you has many more answers about themselves than you do.  If you always fix their problem yourself, then you’ll be known as a good fixer and a so-so manager at best.

Start off by getting really curious.  You know this employee can do good work, so what’s going on?  Take time to wonder, but don’t judge. Because it’s your job to help your employee get curious so they can Build Awareness. Ask questions in a manner that makes this fun, not scary. Some good questions for this stage of the process are:

·         How does that impact you?

·         If you were watching this on TV, what would you say was going on?

·         What’s the main obstacle getting in the way here?

·         What’s underneath all of this?

·         Which of your buttons are really getting pushed here?

Don’t confuse ‘Wonder About Root Cause’ with getting all of the nitty-gritty details and facts about an issue.  For example, if an employee comes to you frustrated about a conversation, she had with a team member, don’t ask for a recount of what happened. Instead, look for what the anger is really about—the root cause. In this case, you may find out your coachee has been working with someone who can’t meet deadlines, which interferes with her meeting deadlines, and therefore her ability to be successful in her role. In the case, the issue isn’t actually about the team member conversation at all.

On to stage two—Investigate Wants.

I-nvestigate Wants

As people, we usually get what we say we want; the problem is we usually aren’t clear on what we really want, so we end up with the wrong things.  Raff is miserable at his job so finds another one. In a few months he’s miserable at his new job. That’s because Raff was miserable in the first place because he had no one to challenge him and help him grow. If he had known what he actually wanted before taking another job, he’d have been much more likely to find a job he liked.

The goal of the second stage in W.I.N. B.I.G. is to help your employees investigate what they really want (Investigate Wants).  In the first stage, you create safety by asking open-ended wonder-type questions and get to the root cause of what is going on.  Next, it’s time to look at what the person wants, how they want to be seen as things move forward, and what they want things to look like on the other side.  This requires you to ask questions that open up possibilities and help the person paint a clear picture of what they want their world to look like.  Here are examples of questions that help the employee think bigger and look to the future:

·         How would you like people to describe you as you resolve this?

·         What would success look like?

·         If you could use a magic wand to re-create the scene, how would you want it to look?

It’s important here, more than anywhere else, not to tell the employee what you think she should want.  You have no way of knowing.  We are all really good at thinking we know what others want, but we don’t.  Be sure to give the person space and time to figure it out for herself.  She may even need a few minutes of silence to think it through.  Let her have that time without filling the empty space. If she feels stuck, just ask another open-ended question about her desired outcome.  The bottom line is: deep down, we all know what we want.  We just don’t always get a chance to voice it. 

On to stage three—Name Possible Solutions.

N-ame Possible Solutions

There is a definite reason why this stage of W.I.N. is called Name Possible Solutions and not Name the Solution.  Remember that you are still trying to Build Awareness, so the goal of this stage is to help the person become aware of the multitude of possible choices they have in the situation. Typically, if left to our own devices, we humans will go about implementing the same solutions that have worked for us in the past—even if there is a potentially more effective or efficient way of doing it. Your job is to get the employee to think big and outside the box, to explore all the possible options before settling on a specific strategy of action.

This is a tempting place for managers to jump in and solve the problem—to help the employee and maybe even save the day for them.  But remember, coaching is about letting the person come up with his or her own answers. 

Your goal here is to help the employee have fun and brainstorm.  A good way to do that is to ask questions like:

·         The 85-year-old you is looking back at this situation; what does she say to do?

·         What do you have to do to get where you want to go?

·         How would Bill Gates tell you to solve the problem?

·         What would it take to work this out?

A key here is to be sure to ask follow-up questions.  Do not settle with just one solution (even if you think it’s a great one).  Inspire your employee to think bigger and consider different options.  So, ask follow-up questions or statements such as:

·         What else could work?

·         That’s a great idea; what’s another?

·         Great! Let’s think of 5 more.

After you have generated lots of options together, you need to start weighing the impacts of the top ones. One of the biggest things you can do here is to help the person map back to what they said they wanted during Investigate Wants.  Sure, their solution may solve the problem, but does it really get them what they want?  When you have a few solutions on the table, ask questions like:

·         So which option gets you closest to what you want?

·         What would be the impact of your favorite solution?

·         What possibility is your favorite?  What would that get you?

Now that we’ve looked in detail at how to build awareness of the problem when coaching an employee, it’s time to talk about how to move them into action. Stay tuned for the next post for all the how’s and whys.

 

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send me an email, or find me on Twitter.

 

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