Manage Your Personal Bias with These Three Tips

 

“No, not her!” I thought to myself.

What I needed was a massage and my regular massage therapist wasn’t working. I couldn’t believe I got stuck with HER instead.

My mind started racing. “Is she strong enough to give the deep massage I like? Can she really handle a full hour on all my shoulder knots?”

I’d seen her before as I was waiting for my appointment. She was a practitioner in her late 50’s. My immediate thought was, “Wow, she looks old for this job.” But I dismissed the thought, realizing I was just being biased.

Yet when the reality hit that this “older” woman was going to be giving me my massage, I couldn’t control my mind. “You hate ageism,” I reminded myself, “so knock it off.” I smiled and told her what type of massage I prefer.

When the massage started, I immediately noticed she had a very different style than my usual therapist. “Ugh,” I thought, “is this some technique she learned 20 years ago? I guess she doesn’t know the NEW massage techniques.”

“Stop it,” I said to myself again, “quit being biased and relax.”

But I couldn’t. Because she was stepping too loudly on the floor or breathing too hard. I even thought, “What kind of music is this? Is this from the 80’s?”

As someone who writes and speaks about age bias in the workplace, I knew exactly what was happening to my brain. To be specific, my inner dialogue trifurcated into:

1.    A running monologue about every little thing she was “doing wrong”

2.    A 30,000-foot view of “Oh, so this is what happens when bias kicks in. Look how it’s running over every other thought.”

3.    Scrolling through bias management tips (link), such as “Calm down. Breathe deep. Relax. Enjoy.”

Despite these three conversations monopolizing my mind, the monologue about what she was “doing wrong” steamrolled everything. For all I knew, the music playing could have been the exact same music my regular practitioner plays. This new therapist could be the most revered in the community! I couldn’t see any of that though because my bias was holding me hostage.

Why Was This Happening To Me?

While I take full responsibility for my biased thinking, there is a scientific aspect to those behaviors as well. The culprit is the amygdala part of the brain, which is responsible for rapid visual predictions and categorizations. For example, friend or foe? In-group or out-group? This part of the brain is useful in that it enables us to recognize danger quickly. However, the rapid categorizations are made before the frontal cortex can consciously think.

Yet, if this were just about danger, my brain wouldn’t have reacted the way it did to an older massage therapist.

The compounding factor here is our culture. It is filled with stereotypes. Many of us have inaccurate and prejudicial information that is quickly accessed before the other part of our brain can analyze. This is why biases are so dangerous; they are reinforced almost unconsciously in our culture, and the outcome is often much more serious than a woman not being able to relax on her massage table.

Fortunately, the amygdala doesn’t completely run the show. We have a highly complex frontal cortex, which allows us to control impulses, make complicated decisions and behave in ways that are socially appropriate. This frontal cortex helps moderate gut reactions.

So remember, despite what it might appear like, the human mind is actually extremely adept at control and regulation. With the awareness and willingness to put some work in, we can grab hold of our biases and tell them to get out of our heads. Start by taking a good, hard look at yourself and be honest about the biases you have. Then try these tips to help manage them.

Three Real Life Ways to Manage Your Personal Bias

1. Ask Yourself Questions

When you notice a bias popping up, take a minute to ask yourself these questions:

·         Is this bias relevant?

·         Does this bias help anyone, including me?

·         Why is my brain acting like this bias is important?

·         Where did I get this bias?

Looking hard at biases can often not only make you realize they are useless, but also make them less attractive to you.

2. Surround yourself by those you are biased against

Whether it’s older people, people of a certain ethnicity, certain religious groups or otherwise, if you find you are biased against them, find a way to interact with the group in a positive way. This could be as simple as going to restaurants in parts of your city you don’t usually go to. You can also volunteer in social programs that allow you to work amongst people you tend to be biased towards, join community clubs, attend events, and even simply watch certain movies. The goal here is to challenge your perceptions of certain groups of people, and thereby create new gut reactions when you encounter those like them.

3. Ask Trusted Friends and Family to Hold You Accountable

Because biases are often unconscious, we may not even realize we have them. If you truly want to tackle your personal biases, ask friends and family to call you out when you behave in biased ways or make biased comments. It’s not easy being confronted but control your urge to be defensive, have an open mind, and thank your friend or family member for helping you on your quest to control your personal biases.

I am embarrassed to say that my bias was front and center that day, just because the person looked older than what I expected a massage practitioner to look like. Did my bias impact my massage? Yes, because I was unable to relax. Did it impact her? No. So at the end of the day, my own bias just made it worse for me.

Take a deep look and think about how your own biases may have impacted you in a negative way. 

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send us an email, or find us on Twitter.

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Have You Ever Wondered How People Define Success?

Success seemed really simple in elementary school. You get an A on your math test—success! You win a game of foursquare—success! You play a solo in your band concert and don’t miss a note—success!

Adult life is much more complex than acing a spelling test every Friday. As a result, each person’s definition of success is unique.

I wanted to know how others define success, so I turned to my peer groups on LinkedIn and asked them just that. I started by sharing my definition of success in order to open up the dialogue.

What was the result? I learned that many of us hold similar ideas about success. In fact, I noticed four trends in people’s definitions of success: relationships, purpose, contentment, and the importance of striving for goals. Take a look at the wonderful responses below, and you will see what I mean.

What is Your Definition of Success?

 

1.  Success is About Relationships

David Morlah

Teamwork & Leadership Guy/Baseball Scribe

Success is making a lot of money and having power and control over other people. Okay, just kidding. I believe success is all about relationships with people. It’s maintaining long term friendships and being at peace with all in your family. It’s about forgiving those who may have done you wrong and harboring no bitterness or deep regrets. If you are loved, and if you love others, you are successful.

Ed Gilbert

Vice President Business Integration at Truven Health Analytics

Success is being able to look back in life and note the influence and guidance that you have provided to others. It is the long list of people that seek out my advice about career, business or personal matters. That is when you know you are successful.

2. Success is Finding Peace and Contentment in Life

Allan Griff

Independent Plastics Engineer/Anthropologist

David’s kidding shouldn’t be dismissed so easily. Altho its unPC among us levies to go after money and power to make more, we are surrounded and often dependent on people who have those values, and need to understand how they tick, and not just toss their values into the trashosphere. I want to free myself from such goals as “success” and prefer the idea(I) of contentment. Good health (no extremes) and good genes help. Please remember that some of us (not just us engineers) don’t thrive on personal relationships, but somehow muddle through them and find contentment in believing what we see (science) and not seeing what we believe, observing from the outside, and thinking on the inside. Yes, I want to earn enough money to free me from economic anxiety, and I want power, but over myself and not others. Anne, thank you for asking us this question. I hope lots more of us are thinking about it even if they don’t post.

Rhyz Buac

Vice President – Finance and Operations at Alenter Resort Hotels Corporation

When you are happy and satisfied/contented of what you have then you are already successful

Kathy Barany, PHR

Principal, Strategic Management Solutions

Love David’s definition…all except that first line that had us going! To me, success is personal and professional. personally, it is being healthy and happy; healthy being physical and emotional, and the happy part is all that David said. Professionally, it is being happy with what we do and having a healthy attitude towards mistakes along the way; we learn from them.

3. Success Starts With Identifying Your Purpose

Ruth M.Schimel

at Career & Life Management Consultant

 

I don’t believe there’s one definition of success because each of us has unique interests, goals, and needs. Once there is a sense of purpose, defining success becomes more accessible, varying with time and experience.

Ruth Schimel, Ph.D.

Author of “Step Into the Success You Want: Sparking Your Powers”

 

For 10 years or so I did not do much with music, which had always been probably my favorite way to find peace but also energy. I sang in an a cappella group in college and in church choirs and community choruses after that. When I moved to Texasin the late 90’s I stopped singing for various reasons. In the last two years I have begun to sing again with a barbershop chorus and a quartet or two as well as an excellent choral group associated with, but not part of, the church where I used to belong. I find that I missed that chance to perform more than I realized. It need not be singing, of course. Painting, crafts, dancing, acting, public speaking or playing an instrument are all equally rewarding depending on your talents.

Spiritual satisfaction is perhaps harder to come by. I believe, however, that “success” includes some philosophical reflection on why we are here. Without getting too preachy, we could all benefit from some soul searching about our place and purpose in the world. Many find that in a church or other religious organization but meditation or a walk in the woods or volunteering at a youth or senior center also provide insight.

Best wishes to your readers for success however they define it.

4. Success is a Process, Not a Specific Goal

Larry Smith

Business Development, The Belt’s Corporation

Success describes the fulfillment and peace of mind people acquire from nurturing and developing their minds(perpetually learning), bodies(physical/emotional wellness), and spirit(discovering maximal perspectives that yield lifelong and immediate purposes). It requires developing, implementing, and refining three strategies at once. Then the Magic happens…

Mark C. Miller

International (Latin American) Financial Risk Management

I would say that success is the process of identifying, and striving to reach, our own aspirations…perhaps we can repeatedly halve the distance to meeting those aspirations; in any case, the real success seems to come from striving for or toward something that we find meaningful, not from a final result of actually having arrived there.

Good luck to all.

Emilly Filloramo

Success & Happiness Catalyst | Confidence Coach | Author | Speaker | Nutritionist

Success is giving all that you’ve got, knowing that you did go outside of your comfort zone, pushed through the obstacles, picked yourself up after failing and doing it over and over again. All in the name of leaving this world a better place than you have found it.

Karen Fox

Environmental Research/GIS Analysis

Knowing that I have the power to turn a potential disappointment into an opportunity for gratitude.

Acknowledging that, what I might have done better today, is something I can always strive for again tomorrow. (No room for regrets)

Being there for my friends and family and allowing them to do the same for me.

(…and having my mortgage paid off!!!)

Let’s continue the dialogue.

As I mentioned in my interview with Cornell University, success to me is working with fully engaged clients, giving back to my community in the form of teaching and mentorship, and living my purpose. But what about you? How do you define success? I’d love to know.

 

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send us an email, or find us on Twitter.

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A Deeper Look at Cultural Awareness in the Workplace

 Working in Africa taught me the importance of understanding cultural norms. I was managing a Kenyan hotel with 400 international guests over the Christmas holiday. We had arranged it all: fireworks, an African choir to sing carols, and Santa arriving on a camel. Yet, I failed my guests and my team by not bothering to pay attention to cultural nuances. How? Despite my team urgently asking why I hadn’t ordered Christmas Crackers for the dinner, I thought it was no big deal. After all, fireworks are much more impressive, right? Maybe they are impressive, but the cultural importance of Christmas Crackers was more important. And by ignoring the Crackers, I faced hundreds of angry guests, and a disgruntled  team. 

The hospitality business definitely offers a crash course on handling cultural differences with acute sensitivity. It takes background research, listening skills (link), and empathy (link) to successfully host people from other cultures. The traditional business world faces similar situations, where cultural differences can cause a multitude of misunderstandings and frustrations on international teams or on teams with international co-workers.

The Benefits of Workplace Cultural Awareness Extend Beyond “Getting Along”

The benefits of being culturally aware are innumerable, and with the global economy, intercultural teams are becoming the norm. SHRM Foundation reports, “At a very basic level, culturally appropriate communication and nonverbal business etiquette are essential to success in running international teams or engaging in negotiations with foreign firms.”

Being aware of the common differences between cultures increases trust, improves work relationships and streamlines projects. It also improves communication, which is the backbone to any successful team. When coworkers are curious enough about each other to learn about cultural similarities and differences, and treat one another’s differences with respect, the positive effect on engagement is powerful.

A client asked me to speak on cultural awareness, with a focus on their international offices in the United Kingdom, United States, China, India and Sweden. I used Geert Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions Theory as a framework for building a greater understanding between the different cultures in their organization.

The Cultural Dimensions Theory Gives In-Depth Insight into Cultural Differences

The Cultural Dimensions Theory is a result of social psychologist Geert Hofstede’s six-year worldwide survey of employee values. By surveying 50 countries and three regions, he was able to identify differences in cultures in six primary dimensions. These dimensions address four anthropological problem areas that national societies handle differently. They are:

1.    Ways of coping with reality

2.    Ways of coping with uncertainty

3.    Relationship of the individual with her or his primary group

4.    Emotional implications of having been born as a girl or as a boy

The six dimensions that address these four anthropological problem areas are fascinating once you start researching them. The dimensions are:  

·         Power Distance

·         Uncertainty Avoidance

·         Individualism/Collectivism

·         Masculinity/Femininity

·         Long-/Short-Term Orientation

·         Indulgence/Restraint.

Different cultures were evaluated to determine where they fall on the spectrum, between high and low, of each dimension. Below are the basics of each dimension, and where the United Kingdom, United States, China, India and Sweden fall on the spectrum.

1. Power Distance (PDI)

Cultures that score high on the power distance index accept a hierarchical order in which everybody has a place. Those with low power distance index scores strive to equalize the distribution of power and demand justification for inequalities of power.

Looking at the chart below, we see that the U.S. and the U.K. scored evenly at 40, indicating a low power distance. In the U.K. it is generally believed that inequalities should be minimized, and in the U.S., we like to say, “liberty and justice for all.” China scores high on the power distance index at 80, with India close at 77, meaning inequalities among people are accepted and superior/subordinate relationships are highly polarized. Sweden scores the lowest at 31, where employees are expected to be consulted, control is disliked, and hierarchy is used for convenience only.

2. Individualism versus Collectivism (IDV)

A tendency toward individualism shows a preference for a loosely knit social framework, while a more collectivist culture has a tightly knit framework. An easy way to think of this dimension is “me versus we.”

Our chart shows again a similarity between the U.S. (89) and U.K. (91), both scoring high in individualism. People in the U.K. are highly individual and private; happiness is sought through personal fulfillment. In the U.S., people are expected to look out for themselves and not rely heavily on authority for support. China scores the lowest at 20, making them it a more collectivist society where people act in the interest of the group rather than themselves. India is midrange at 48, both individualistic and collectivist. In India, actions are influenced by opinion of family, neighbors and colleagues. They are generally loyal employees and experience almost familial protection from employers. At 71, Sweden is a more individualistic society, where there is a preference for a loosely knit social framework. Swedish individuals are expected to take care of themselves and immediate family, and the employee/employer contract is based on mutual advantage.

3. Masculinity versus Femininity (MAS)

A more masculine culture has a preference in society for achievement, heroism, assertiveness and material rewards for success, while a more feminine culture prefers cooperation, modesty, caring for the weak and quality of life. This dimension can appear sexist at times.

Both China and the United Kingdom scored highest in this dimension at 66, making them a masculine society. Both cultures are success oriented and goal driven. In China, leisure time is not a priority. India is slightly more feminine as a culture, but still on the masculine side at 56. That can be seen in how there is a visual display of success and power, yet spirituality reigns in people. Sweden is extremely feminine, with a score of five. Work-life balance is very important, as well as consensus.

4. Uncertainty Avoidance Index (UAI)

Scoring high on the uncertainty avoidance index signifies a culture that maintains rigid codes of belief and behavior and is intolerant of unorthodox behavior and ideas. Low scoring societies maintain a more relaxed attitude in which practice counts more than principles. Questions to ask yourself here may be, “How does a particular culture embrace the unexpected or unknown? Are they open to ambiguity?”

None of the countries mentioned in this article scored high on the uncertainty avoidance index. The U.S. scored highest at 46, but maintains that new ideas are generally accepted and having a lot of rules is disliked. Next down is India at 40, where nothing has to be perfect or go as planned. People in India are comfortable with established roles/routines; rules are just in place to be circumvented. The U.K. (30) and Sweden (29) scored closely. In the U.K. they are generally happy to “take things as they come” and are amenable to changing plans as they go along. Hofstede says, “In societies exhibiting low UAI like Sweden, people believe there should be no more rules than are necessary and if they are ambiguous or do not work they should be abandoned or changed. Schedules are flexible, hard work is undertaken when necessary but not for its own sake, precision and punctuality do not come naturally, innovation is not seen as threatening.”

5. Long Term Orientation versus Short Term Normative Orientation (LTO)

Societies that lean toward long-term orientation take a pragmatic approach. They encourage thrift and efforts in modern education as a way to prepare for the future. Short-term normative orientation societies prefer to maintain time-honored traditions and norms while viewing societal change with suspicion.

China scored the highest in this category at 87. Chinese culture is pragmatic and able to adapt traditions. They have a strong desire to save and invest, and the truth is not set in stone, but rather dependent on the situation, context and time.  India and the U.K. both scored 51, and Sweden scored 53, meaning the dominant preference cannot be determined. The U.S. scored relatively low at 26, where businesses measure performance on a short-term basis with quarterly P&L statements. There is also a strong idea of what is “good” and “evil” in the U.S. culture.

6. Indulgence versus Restraint (IND)

More indulgent societies allow relatively free gratification of human drives related to enjoying life and having fun. Societies that lean toward restraint suppress gratification of needs and regulates that by means of strict social norms.

Sweden scored the highest in this dimension at 78, making it a dominantly indulgent culture. They are willing to realize impulses and desires with regard to enjoying life and having fun. They also tend toward optimism, and value leisure time. The U.K. (69) and U.S. (68) scored similarly, indicating a tendency toward indulgence. In the U.S. we like to say, “work hard, play hard, “which is an example of a more indulgent frame of mind. The U.K. tends toward optimism, values leisure time immensely, and is willing to realize impulses and desires. China (24) and India (26) both lean toward restraint, where there is little to no emphasis on leisure.

Hofstede says, “It’s important to remember that cultural dimensions don’t exist in real life. They are only a way of understanding a very complex world. They are a framework for making sense of differences. We can use them as long as they are practically meaningful. As such, the dimensions help us understand that what happens in one particular culture does not necessarily happen in another.” Also remember that this theory is about cultural groups and not individuals, who can vary widely from each other despite sharing a culture.

He also points out that the base of all cultural understanding is curiosity. Try to find out different things about your colleagues from a different culture. Geography, music, history and/or literature is a great place to start.

Let’s share experiences. Leave a comment below, send us an email, or find us on Twitter.

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